


tuesday afternoon i ain't got shit to do but fall in love with you

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, the last three show up once in this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Say something, please.” Harry says to Niall. There’s a dog barking in Niall’s hands and Harry’s heart feels like it might grow legs and run away from him and Harry just needs Niall to tell him what he’s feeling but Niall’s not even speaking words. Niall shuffles close to Harry, gets up on his tiptoes, and presses a hard kiss to Harry’s lips. Harry’s mind doesn’t catch up to what’s happening until Niall pulls away and Louis is making gagging noises. </p>
<p>~~</p>
<p>In which ever since Harry was a kid these lost kids came in and out of his life and that's what happens when his mom's a social worker and he never cared before but he does now because it's Niall... and Niall's different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tuesday afternoon i ain't got shit to do but fall in love with you

**Author's Note:**

> I really wasn't that proud of this like I feel like there is so many things I could make better but whatever.

Ever since Harry can remember it’s always been him, his mom Anne, his older sister Gemma, and some kid his mom picked up from her job who ended up living with them for a while. These kids were always misguided youths who didn’t know what a shower, a decent bed, or a hug even felt like and it was his mom’s job to show them how quote on quote normal people acted like. Harry as a kid was always scared of them but then he grew up and they were a regular thing and it was like having a new brother or sister for a little while. Some were plain out mean and some were just so utterly nice that it broke Harry’s heart. It never lasted though of course because the child would always end up going to foster care and apparently get a new life and that’s the perks (or the downfalls depending on how you look at it) of having a social worker for a mom.

So Harry isn’t at all bothered when he walks into his house on a Wednesday afternoon and sees a blonde boy asleep on his couch with old blankets that they stored in the basement cocooning his body. Harry immediately makes a beeline for the kitchen where his mom was usually hiding out with a bowl of fruit or lots of files on the kitchen countertop as she viewed them and ran a hand through her hair roughly. Sometimes Harry wished Gemma wasn’t in college so Harry wasn’t always trapped in the house with a stressed out mom and some pitifully sad children.

“Hey, mom who’s the new one?” Harry asks. His mom this time is actually baking, something she hasn’t done in a long time but she’s still in her work clothes. Harry doesn’t know how he didn’t smell the brownies when he walked into the house because the smell is just greatly overpowering and Harry’s mouth is quite frankly watering.

“His name’s Niall and he’s from Ireland. How was school?” She asks standing to her full height so she can give him a kiss on the cheek. That’s always been the protocol: his mom doesn’t tell him much about her cases and he doesn’t ask much. So one kid could live with them for five months and Harry has no idea what their favorite color or even when their birthday is. Most of them don’t like talking to him and the ones that do have been so deprived of human contact they just cling to him.

“Same old same old. You’re baking, why are you baking?” Harry asks her.

“For Niall.”

“You never bake even when we have a seven year old staying with us.” Harry points out and his mom kind of just presses her finger to her temple and looks like she’s counting down to one fifty a breathing exercise they’ve both perfected together.

“On the car ride here I asked him what was one thing he wanted and you know what he told me?”

“I can guess.” Harry says already walking away. Maybe it seems cruel just shutting his mom out like that but it’s not. He’s heard it all before and there really is nothing different about this guy besides the fact he got his mom to cook for him and nobody’s been able to do that since 2008 but that was because she was celebrating a divorce. He peers back in the living room one more time before he ducks up the stairs and the kid is still asleep but he doesn’t look peaceful or vulnerable he looks guarded and angry and his hair looks like it hasn’t been washed for ages and Harry can see his sharp collar bones from where the blanket slipped off. Harry sighs because the abused kids are always the hardest ones, you never know what to expect out of them. You either get a kid whose insubordination level is higher than anything describable or you get a kid who’s scared of any sudden or loud noises and who cries at broken plates. It’s become so routine that all Harry can do is bring him to feel sympathy for the guy and then run up the stairs.

He collapses on his bed in a heap and he closes his eyes and thinks about the horribleness of his day. Leah Carmichael the pretty girl he’s been crushing on since like the fifth grade made sure Harry knew she didn’t like him by saying it in front of the school and he failed an AP trigonometry quiz and he quite frankly feels like dying. He hears some yapping out his window and he already knows who it is, Louis Tomlinson and his Yorkie, Gracie.

Louis is what Harry might call a best friend but Harry supposes if they actually went to school with each other (Harry goes to Martin George High School while Louis is homeschooled) they wouldn’t run in the same circles. It’s just that Louis is the Patrick to Harry’s Charlie or something like that because Louis’ funny and loud and outgoing even though Harry knows the loudness factor is there to cover his ADD and OCD and the fact that he has to walk his dog around the neighborhood about eight times before he’s satisfied.

Harry gets up from his bed and walks over to the always open window and peers his head out. Louis is wiggly a dog snack in front of the puppy’s face and running away anytime the dog gets too close.

“Louis!” Harry calls and Louis startles and drops the snack then he looks up at Harry.

“Hi, fucker.” Louis greets him and Harry grins.

“Guess what?”

“I don’t want to.” Harry rolls his eyes because Louis is the type of person to not do something just because he was told to do it even if he did want to do it in the long run.

“I got another one.”

“Another what? Right hand because yeah you do need those. I can hear you all the way from my bedroom; one right hand must be too little.” Louis says laughing at his own joke and Harry’s cheeks redden and he rolls his eyes.

“No shut up. Mom brought home another kid.”

“Is it a girl?” Louis asks and Harry shakes his head and Louis shrugs.

“Sucks. Is this one a freak too?”

“I think they’re all freaks.” Harry replies back with a shrug. It’s a mean thing to say he knows it is but he’s become very immune to the whole thing. He thinks it’s sad of course who doesn’t think a dad beating the crap out of his kid for nothing or a mom starving her child is cruel and those are the types of things that make people cry but after being around it and seeing it over and over again Harry just has a built in shield.

“True. Come down.” Louis orders but Harry turns him down in favor for studying for trigonometry because his math teacher’s been threatening to call his mom and he knows how thin his mother’s patience is and she just might backhand him if she has to take time off her busy schedule to listen to Mr. Corlion tell her how horrible Harry is in mathematics and how he should never do investments in life.

Harry spends about twenty minutes staring at a math text book until his mom calls him down and he knows he’ll have to do introductions. He runs a hand through his hair once and then he’s bounding down the stairs and he’s taking in the incredibly skinny boy standing next to his mother. His eyes are downcast and he has his arms around his body as if he’s trying to keep himself up and Harry could see the reason. He’s so… willowy, he reminds Harry of a tree a really frail tree and Harry is scared to say anything just in case his breath blows the boy away slowly and surely.

“Niall this is my son, Harry. Harry this is Niall he’ll be staying with us for a while.” Harry’s heard the same line plenty times before. He sticks his hand out for Niall to shake but Niall doesn’t move so Harry drops it.

“I microwaved some pizza and made brownies, Niall! How does that sound?” His mom asks Niall. Niall shrugs and shuffles after her into the kitchen like an obedient puppy and Harry can already tell he’ll be the type to cry at broken plates. Harry watches him watch his mom who keeps talking to fill in the awkward silence. She tells Niall to go sit while her and Harry set the table even if Harry doesn’t really see a reason for setting the table but he just goes to the kitchen while Niall looks unsure of their chair as if the chair is going to betray him somehow if Niall tries to sit on it.

“Go on, sweetie sit.” Harry’s mom says and Niall finally looks up with these helpless blue eyes and Harry blinks. Niall’s good looking but Harry’s seen a whole bunch of good looking ones, Niall probably doesn’t know he’s good looking though. Harry finds himself looking away as his mom tries to coax Niall into sitting. So maybe he feels bad and maybe he isn’t as immune as he made himself seem… it just doesn’t seem a big deal until Harry is actually faced with it.

He sets the table while Niall goes to freshen up and get his bearings in the bathroom.

“Be nice to him please.” His mom says which is something Harry has heard many times is also. Harry nods he’s always nice to them and this is another time he wishes Gemma was back because while Harry was good at being nice Gemma was good at making them feel comfortable while Harry would hover awkwardly before asking if they wanted anything.

Niall does manage to come back down and it looks like he was crying. He sits down and he just stares at his food and before he eats he looks up at Anne and says,

“You want me to eat this?” So softly and she nods.

“Do you not want it?” Harry’s mom asks and Niall nods so fast and so hard Harry’s sure his neck would’ve fallen off.

“I was just not sure if I was allowed to.” Niall says and Harry and his mom share the same heartbroken look. Harry wants to fling himself off a balcony.

~~

“You can have my bed. I have an overnight bag so don’t worry about it.” Harry says to Niall who’s just standing at the door of his room awkwardly. He’s in pajamas that are a bit too big for him but Harry’s sure anything would be a bit too big for Niall.

“It’s okay I’ll just sleep on the floor.” Niall says and Harry shakes his head vehemently. Not only would his mom find it rude Harry would never do that to a guest.

“Dude, it’s cool calm down.” Harry says and Niall looks at him and then looks away and then back at him. Niall’s sad broken look is enough to make Harry want to crawl under his bed and never come out but he can’t. He just nods slowly to show Niall that it’s okay and he’ll be fine so Niall shuffles his feet and he walks over to the bed. He sits on it and Harry smiles because he feels triumphant. He starts spreading the sleeping bag on the floor.

“Do you miss Ireland?” Harry asks because he doesn’t know what to say and even if having a stranger in his room is a common occurrence he can’t for the life of him get used to it. Niall doesn’t say anything for a long time so Harry thinks the boy has chosen to ignore him so he just situates himself in the sleeping bag.

“Not at all.” Niall finally whispers but Harry catches it. He nods slowly.

“Holmes Chapel’s a good place you’ll like it here.”

“Okay.” Is all Niall says and Harry says,

“Good night, Niall.” And Niall says.

“Night.” Softly like he doesn’t want Harry to hear it… or maybe he’s just not used to having a voice Harry isn’t sure yet.

~

Harry wakes up the next day for school and usually he’s the only one awake at that time but Niall’s sitting up on Harry’s bed and looking out the window like he’s deep in thought. Harry clears his throat and Niall turns his head and looks down at him. Harry tries for a smile but Niall doesn’t smile back just looks blankly at him and Harry cannot fight that he looks beautiful… it’s an odd thought to have about this ghostly pale broken boy but it’s the first thing that sticks out to him.

He looks like someone put him together wrong and he’s waiting for someone to fix him. Harry wishes he could but he’s not a miracle worker he can’t fix people especially when they were born broken.

“Good morning.” Harry says. Niall just nods and Harry stands up and kind of just shuffles and wrings his hands before he remembers that he needs to go get ready for school. He gives Niall one last look before he disappears out of his bedroom and into the bathroom. He brushes his teeth, takes a shower, and gets ready for school and the whole time he wonders what is Niall’s whole story.

Niall’s his age and Harry wonders if Niall’s life hadn’t ended up like it had if he would become an outgoing kid or maybe he’d be a shy one it seems more fitting. Harry knows not to ask Niall about family life and stuff like that there was one girl they had staying with them a few years back and Harry had asked her if she missed her dad and she had a panic attack. So he and his mom decided to make rules with each other about what questions are permissible and which ones aren’t.

“Do you like school?” Niall asks while Harry is spraying perfume on and Harry kind of jumps because Niall’s sat on his bed quiet the whole time taking turns looking out the window than back at Harry.

“It’s alright.” Harry lies. Harry fucking hates school, he hates the people and he hates the education system and he hates the fact that he spends half his time in the library and the other doing study sessions with his teachers. He doesn’t tell Niall that though but he’s sure Niall will find that out when his mom enrolls Niall into the school. All of them eventually find out  HarrHHarry’s a loser it’s inevitable. “What’s your favorite color, Niall?” Harry asks him praying to god that it’s a safe question that Niall doesn’t start crying just by the mere mention of a color.

Niall does that thing where he doesn’t answer for a long time as if he’s contemplating what to say as if he doesn’t want to mess up. “Blue.” He finally says and that’s a generic boy color.

“I like purple.” Harry tells him and Niall nods and doesn’t say anything. Harry finishes getting ready and he feels a bit awkward leaving Niall sitting on his bed cross legged and lost looking. He runs a hand through his hair and he swallows. “Well I have to go.”

“Where?” Niall asks as if he’s forgotten that he’s the one who asked Harry about school in the first place.

“School. Martin George High School to be exact… I’m a senior.” Harry word vomits. Niall nods and then goes back to lying on his bed, he turns so that his back is to Harry and he’s facing the wall. He curls himself up into fetal position.

“Good bye, Harry.” He says to the wall.

“See ya later, Niall.” Harry says and walks out the door feeling for shaken even if he doesn’t know what valid reason there is for that feeling.

~

On Thursdays and Saturdays after school Harry works at the bakery. The bakery is probably the only place Harry actually likes and a place where he can say he has halfway friends. There’s Liam and Zayn who work there who are an on and off gay couple and there’s a purple haired girl Perrie who likes to flirt with Zayn and occasionally help Harry out even if she doesn’t work there herself.

“Good afternoon!” She greets when Harry walks in.

“Hi, love.” Harry says fluffing her hair and she grins. Zayn’s taking orders while Liam is giving them. They work well together even when they fight and Zayn yells orders at Liam and Liam screams at him to not yell orders at him and Zayn screams louder and their manager Leigh-Anne tells them it’s time to take a break.

“How’re you guys today?” Harry asks looking between them.

“I don’t know.” Liam says shortly and Zayn rolls his eyes out. They’re off but it’s probably a fight that started during work since they aren’t screaming.

“I’ll take over, Liam.” Harry says and Liam’s out of there quickly. Perrie twirls her fingers around her hair and bats her pretty eyelashes at Zayn.

“What a shame.” Harry ignores her and Zayn talking. The first half of the afternoon goes pretty slow with Harry giving little girls donuts and taking large orders for a group of girls who want to try everything! It’s in the second half of work when his mom walks in with Niall in tow that Harry’s a bit shocked. His mom rarely comes to the bakery probably because she’s always working. Niall has a hoodie on his head and his hands buried deep in his pockets and his head down.

“Hey what’re you guys doing here?” Harry asks her.

“I’m showing Niall around and I wanted to show him the bakery. I got him enrolled.” His mom says with a grin and Harry nods slowly and looks over at Niall trying to gouge his reaction.

“Uhm what can I get you guys?” Zayn asks side eyeing Harry which means that Harry’s going to have to explain Niall to them. They know his mom’s job so they probably already guessed it. It’s not the first time one of Harry’s wayward lost souls wandered into the bakery.

“A dozen cupcakes and five fudge brownies. Niall, what would you like to drink?” Harry’s mom asks looking at Niall. Niall shrugs and she nods and looks back at them. “And two hot chocolates.” Harry’s already on the order and Perrie’s sneaked in too and she’s already filling up two cups of hot chocolate. It’s silent in the place save for Harry and Perrie working to try and get the order as fast as they can.

“What do you think of this place, love?” Harry hears his mom asks Niall.

“It’s fine.” Niall says but when Harry turns around Niall hasn’t even lifted his head hasn’t even bothered looking around. Niall probably thinks there’s no point and Harry hopes he doesn’t think like that much longer.

~

Niall and Louis meet that same afternoon and Harry learns Niall loves puppies. It happens like this: When Harry gets home Niall’s sitting in the living room watching Adventure Time but he doesn’t really seem to be paying attention and his mom’s in the kitchen yelling at someone over the phone about how “the kid just needs a home.” So Harry decides he wants to take Niall away from that so he asks Niall if he wants to go outside and of course Niall just shrugs and tags along.

When they get to Louis’ front porch he’s bouncing a basketball around Gracie who just keeps barking her little head off. When he hears them approaching he looks up and lets go of the basketball letting it roll away and he scoops up Gracie in his arms.

“Hey, Harry. Who’s this?” Louis asks looking at Niall the same way you would look at the new kid. With that same kind of odd curiously that humans tend to have just because they’re humans.

“This is Niall; he’ll be living with me for a while. Niall this is Louis.” Harry feels like his mom and he wonders if Louis feels the same way he always does when he gets these introductions. Like something’s expected of him. Probably not Louis is way more laidback than he is.

“Hey, man where you from?” Louis asks walking closer to him with Gracie in his hands. Niall’s eyes immediately zero in on Gracie when he says,

“Ireland.” In that same frustratingly soft voice of his.

“You like dogs?” Louis asks and Niall nods once and then blushes like he’s ashamed he’s admitted something like that. “Ever had one?” Another nod and Louis smiles. “Her name is Gracie want to hold her?” Niall nods again and Louis hands the puppy over and Niall immediately cradles her to his body. He kind of just looks down at her while the puppy tries to crawl all over Niall’s body and face and Niall keeps blushing. Harry swallows the bile collecting in his throat but it’s not the kind of bile that you get when you’re upset it’s the kind of bile you get when you see someone you admire or like and you’re just completely scared by the fact that you do like or admire said person.

“So what happened to your dog?” Louis asks him and Harry wants to warn Louis and tell him to stop because knowing Louis he’ll probably ask one of the bad questions and Niall will just freak. Niall just looks up and clenches his jaw and finally says.

“I don’t know. I had her when I was really little.” Harry blinks. He looks at Louis and wonders if the boy has some type of magic he’s like another Gemma, working answers out of people without making them feel awkward.

“Want to watch Batman?” Louis asks.

“Is that another dog?” Niall asks him and Louis’ eyes seem to bug out of his eyes. Harry’s not that shocked though most kids from homes like that are shut out from basic things like TV and media and things like that, he met a girl who never heard of McDonalds once.

“You don’t know what Batman is?” Louis asks in disbelief and Niall just stares blankly at him. “Oh my god, follow me.” Louis orders. So that night Niall ends up watching his first ever Batman movie and he doesn’t let go of Gracie once.

~

Niall has the new kid effect of course he does but it’s not like the kids don’t know who Harry and Harry’s mom is and they all know just like Harry does that Niall won’t be there for long. That doesn’t stop them from asking Harry though which is odd since half of them haven’t talked to Harry since first grade. All Harry says is that his name is Niall and he’s from Ireland because at the end of the day they don’t need to know much and Harry doesn’t know more than that himself.

Niall follows Harry everywhere of course he does and Harry doesn’t mind. He doesn’t know when it started maybe it was when he saw Niall all curled up on his bed in fetal position or sitting on the edge of his bed looking plain ol’ beautiful but he’s gotten something protective about him when he looks at the dirty blonde.

During lunch Niall only eats the brownies he had saved and Harry tries his best to explain all the classes and teachers to him even it seems like Niall’s not paying attention. It’s when Niall’s tracing patterns onto the table that Harry notices his wrists and he stops mid-sentence and just stares in horror. Burn marks and bruises, finger shaped ones that make ugly patterns on Niall’s pasty skin. Niall pulls his hand off the table quickly when he realizes what Harry’s looking at and Harry looks up at Niall who’s now looking down at the table.

“Are you okay?” Harry asks stupid questions a lot of times and that moment happens to be one of those times. Niall doesn’t answer and Harry knows Niall isn’t looking for an answer in that cluttered brain of his, Harry knows he isn’t getting one today. “I’m sorry that happened to you… you don’t-,”

“Shut up I’ve heard it all.” Niall cuts him off tersely. Harry shuts up and Niall just shakes his head and he continues. “It’s happened, it’s done you can’t take it back and you didn’t do it so don’t apologize.” Niall stands up and Harry stares at him wondering where in the world the boy would go. “And maybe I did deserve it.” Niall says and bolts off.

 ~

After that Harry doesn’t ask Niall questions about his wrist. Things are normal for two whole weeks. They both go to school and after school Niall plays with Gracie while Louis and Harry shoot the breeze and it’s easy. Niall still doesn’t talk much and Harry realizes he has a bit of a crush the first week when Niall has a nightmare and Harry has to sneak into the bed with him to calm him down.

Harry remembers it because he wasn’t even fully asleep his mind too occupied because he kept thinking about Niall and his life back in Ireland and Niall just starts whimpering in his sleep. Soft things at first until Harry can hear “Stop. Stop hurting me.” And then Niall is full blown crying in his sleep so Harry has to crawl in next to Niall and whisper for him to wake up.

He doesn’t touch Niall because he’s learned how to deal with people with panic attacks and touching them isn’t one thing you do but Harry just whispers soothing things until Niall falls asleep. When Niall awakens the next morning he’s strawberry pink and he refuses to look at Harry. Harry knows he isn’t supposed to have crushes on these kids… these broken old souls who life has spit on countless times but he can’t help it with Niall. He can’t help but to want to listen to him talk all the time and to watch him smile whenever he’s around Gracie.

~

“You don’t know how to ride a bike?” Louis asks in disbelief and Niall shakes his head blushing madly. Gracie’s in his lap and he’s stroking her and Harry’s sitting next to him on the floor. Their shoulders are touching and Harry knows Niall isn’t reading much into it but Harry likes the closeness of them even if Harry still has much to learn about Niall. “Oh my god did you live under a rock?” Louis asks and Harry shoots him a look so Louis knows to shut up.

“Never got a chance to learn.” Niall explains and Louis scoffs.

“Well you have to.” So that gives Harry an idea.

~

The next Saturday Harry takes out his old bike from the basement and he calls Niall downstairs. When Niall sees the bike he looks at it in confusion then he looks at Harry.

“Why do you have this?” He asks and Harry grins.

“I’m going to teach you how to ride it!” Niall blinks at him and his lip quirks up one side and he shakes his head.

“No thank you.”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun!” Harry says grinning and Niall shakes his head again. “Well why not?” Harry asks him because he’s quite confused as to why Niall wouldn’t want to know how to ride. Riding a bike is basically the foundation of being a kid every single child is supposed to know how to ride a bike and Harry wants Niall to have that.

“I’m seventeen. It’s too late.”

“There isn’t an expiration date on how to ride a bike.” Harry reminds him and Niall nods.

“Yeah there is. I missed it, thanks though.” Niall says softly already backing away and Harry scoffs.

“C’mon trust me. I promise it’ll be fun, please Niall! Okay I’ll make you a deal if you don’t like it today you won’t have to do it tomorrow but if you do you let me teach you.” Harry says smiling at him. Niall doesn’t say anything for a long time and it reminds Harry of three weeks ago when they had first met.

“You won’t leave me alone if I don’t will you?” Niall asks with a soft smile one that makes Harry’s heart pound straight against his chest painfully and one that makes him smile too.

“Not really.” Harry says and Niall sighs.

“Okay then.”

~

Trying to teach Niall how to ride a bike is a disaster. First Niall doesn’t know how to get on so Harry spends about ten minutes trying to teach Niall how easy it is to just sit on the cushion of the bike. And after that’s done Niall gets scared that the bike won’t stay on balance and he’ll just immediately fall over. Harry tells him that once he starts pedaling it’ll be fine but Niall doesn’t believe him and Harry presses a finger to his temple.

“You’ll be fine, watch me.” Harry says and gets on the bike and rides circles around Niall to show how easy it is but Niall looks terrified.

“I’ll fall.” He says as if he’s finalized it as if he knows for one hundred percent sure that he’ll fall.

“You won’t fall. I’ll have you; I promise I won’t let you fall.”

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Niall asks him looking from the bike then to Harry. Harry notes that his voice is still incredibly soft even if it did get louder but it’s still hesitant and Harry’s seen Niall look around when he says something particularly loud as if he expects something to happen. But it’s not the time to think about that.

“Because I promised you. And I could never lie on a promise.” Harry says.

“I know a lot of people who do.” Niall replies blinking at him as if he expects that to deter Harry. Yeah it breaks Harry’s heart because people aren’t allowed to break promises to Niall to hurt Niall but that isn’t stopping him from teaching Niall how to ride a bike, not today at least.

“I’m not one of them.”

“What happens if I fall?”

“You won’t.” Harry says and he’ll make sure of it even if he has to die. Niall stares at him with his pale blue eyes and Harry stares back.

“Fine.” Niall, like a baby dear, wobbles onto the bike. And when he does finally get on the cushion he’s shaking.

“Put your feet on the pedals.” Harry tells him and Niall shakes his head. “Niall, please do it.”

“I’ll fall over.” Niall says and Harry shakes his head.

“You won’t, I’m holding on look.” Niall turns his head and looks at where Harry is holding on to the bike so that Niall doesn’t fall off.

“Don’t let go.” Niall says and Harry laughs softly and presses his sweaty forehead to Niall’s shoulder blade and Niall seems tense but then he lets out a little sigh. And it feels weirdly intimate their position, the way Niall isn’t moving and the way Harry’s wayward heart beat doesn’t seem to slow down.

“I have you. Trust me, love.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay I know you have me.” It’s not an ‘okay, I trust you’ but it’s pretty damn close. Harry tells Niall to put his feet on the pedal and he does so when he starts pushing the bike Niall starts pedaling along. Harry thinks it’s going good at first until Gracie comes running out in front of them and Niall abandons bike and just hurtles himself off of it.

“Niall!” Harry screams and Niall resurfaces from where his face was buried in the grass. He looks highly disappointed in himself and Harry doesn’t know what’s happening until Niall starts mumbling watery apologies and he says the words: “please, don’t hit me.” And all Harry can do is shake his head quickly and feel like a dick even if he never did anything wrong even if he doesn’t know who to blame for how Niall is.

“I could never.” Harry whispers and Niall just stares at him when he stops talking. Harry sits down next to him on the grass and waits for Niall to talk.

“It’s hard.” Niall finally says and Harry knows what he’s talking about. He doesn’t need all the words to figure out the twisted puzzle.

“You just have to believe in me.”

“I don’t have any faith in people anymore.” Niall says not looking at Harry. His eyes are closed and his forehead is resting on his knees. He looks like he might start crying but he isn’t, he’s just breathing softly.

“I’m sorry that you don’t.”

“Me too.” Niall says. Harry stands back up and looks down at Niall.

“Do you like ice cream?” Harry asks him and Niall shrugs at him but the large crooked tooth smile on his face gives Harry his answer. Harry puts out his hands and Niall slips his slightly smaller hand into Harry’s and Harry pulls him up. “I know the perfect place.”

~~

It’s inevitable that Niall’s going to leave. It’s been two months since Niall joined them and Harry’s heard his mom on the phone plenty of times about it. Harry wishes that Niall was eighteen like him so that he could have his own choice, so that he could do what he wanted too but it was a whole other year until Niall’s eighteenth birthday.

Harry thinks Niall’s the most perfect thing he’s ever seen. So Harry knows doing this for him is the good thing, doing this for him will make him smile and Harry would do anything to see Niall smile forever.

“What kind of puppy do you want?” The salesgirl, Candace asks him as she leads him to where a row of dogs are. The animal shelter is packed full of tiny little puppies looking for homes and Harry has driven past it plenty of times without giving it a second thought but Niall’s made him more open minded to things… like falling in love with a boy who smiles like it’s the last one he’ll ever get a chance to show anyone, a boy who still has nightmares and who’s whispered to him his secrets the dark.

(“My mom and my dad… I don’t know when they stopped loving me because I was way too young to remember. I just know that one second I was their prized little baby and then I wasn’t.”

“Do you miss them?” Harry remembers asking him. They’re both side by side on Harry and Niall’s bed and Niall gets cold feet so their feet is tangled together and Harry can’t stop looking at Niall. He’s so beautiful it hurts… so beautiful it makes Harry think about how he won’t see him again once he’s put in with a family. This is only temporary… does that mean his love has to be?

“I miss what they used to be. I missed my mom who smelled like shampoo and lavender and not cigarettes and sadness.”)

(“I had a collie and her name was Trina. One second she was with us and the next she wasn’t and I have no idea what happened to her. Seeing Gracie just kind of triggered that.”

“You want her back?”

“I just want something that makes me happy.” Niall had said and then he had turned his head and looked straight at Harry and he had smiled. Harry had thought about kissing him right then, just leaning in while their heads were dangerously close and closing the unnecessary gap but he hadn’t and they had ended up just staring at each other until they both turned away and stared at the ceiling for hours until sleep took them away.)

Harry finds himself walking up the long aisle of yapping dogs staring at all of them. They all look good but neither of them looks perfect enough for Niall. There are endless amounts of puppies though and he thinks he’ll never find the perfect one until he lays his eyes on _the one_. It’s a small Chihuahua who has the name Caesar already on his cage. Harry can’t help but to feel a sense of his exhilaration run through him when he thinks of Niall seeing the dog of seeing how happy Niall is.

All he wants is for Niall to be happy.

He drives home with Caesar barking in the back seat and when he pulls up to his driveway he sees Niall and Louis throwing a basketball around. Harry shuts the car off and he grins when he sees Niall already walking to meet him, a little grin on his face.

“Thanks for not taking me with you.”

“I told you I couldn’t.”

“You take me everywhere with you.” Niall says but it’s good natured and he’s just blushing softly. Harry wonders why he’s blushing until Niall says. “There’s a dog barking loudly in your back seat.” Harry jumps and wants to kill Caesar for ruining the surprise.

“Uh uhm sorry.” Harry turns and pulls the car door open. He can hear Louis walking up to them with Gracie in his arms questioning what’s going on. Niall says he doesn’t know and Harry doesn’t know why his hands are shaking. He turns and he thrusts the cage into Niall’s hands.

“What’s this?” Niall asks looking down at Caesar and Harry shrugs.

“A gift.” Harry says and Niall raises a disbelieving eyebrow.

“For who?”

“For you, Niall. I know you said you wanted something that makes you happy… and all I want is to make you happy.”

“Oh my god.” Louis whispers behind Niall and Harry rolls his eyes. Niall’s doing his signature move where he doesn’t say anything but stares as if he’s waiting for the answer to appear in thin air.

“Say something, please.” Harry says to Niall. There’s a dog barking in Niall’s hands and Harry’s heart feels like it might grow legs and run away from him and Harry just needs Niall to tell him what he’s feeling but Niall’s not even speaking words. Niall shuffles close to Harry, gets up on his tiptoes, and presses a hard kiss to Harry’s lips. Harry’s mind doesn’t catch up to what’s happening until Niall pulls away and Louis is making gagging noises.

“I meant you. You make me happy.” Niall says and Harry blinks.

“I do?”

“Yeah. But thanks for the dog.” Niall says looking down at Caesar and giggling and then looking back up.

“I’m in love with you I think.” Harry blurts out because he’ll explode if he continues to hold this in. “I know. I’m in love with you I know.” Harry corrects himself and Niall just grins and presses one of his hands to his red cheeks.

“I’m so happy.” He says and Harry just laughs breathlessly because that’s all he’s ever wanted. “And I’m in love with you too… it doesn’t hurt, it feels so good.” This time Harry initiates their kiss, his large hands envelope Niall’s cheeks and he stares at him and he thinks about the small broken boy he’d meet those months before and how much this boy doesn’t resemble him. He knows under all that happiness Niall is still not whole, he knows there are cracks and he knows there are things he can’t even begin to fix not even with the most carefully rearranged words but… but he’ll try his best to kiss away the pain and put all the happiness in the world inside of Niall’s lovely bones.

So he does. He kisses him soft… so soft that it feels like that night when Niall whispered to him. It seems insignificant and superfluous but it’s not. Nothing with Niall is like that… everything means something, even holding hands under Harry’s bed sheets.

“I’m not letting you leave me.” Harry says. “I promise.”

“And I trust you.” Niall replies.                 

It’s enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> Personal Blog: http://lovelybonesandfadingscars.tumblr.com/
> 
> Writing Blog: http://my-hummingbirdheart.tumblr.com/


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